James van Cuylenburg – What’s Your Relationship Status?

It’s our last episode of Summer School, and today we welcome back clinical psychologist (and “clinical cousin” of Hugh and Josh), James van Cuylenburg.

In this episode, James tells us EVERYTHING we need to know about our relationships… well almost everything…there’s a lot to cover.

From attachment styles, to breaking trust, to learning how to own your feelings and navigating coupledom through life’s changing seasons.

Getting into the nitty gritty, Hugh asks James about intimacy and what happens when you’re not…. having any. And how to start a conversation with your kids about pornography.

Relationships make life worth living and whether they’re with an intimate partner, a friend, or yourself, they should be cherished and treated with care.

James, we thank you for your guidance.

If you liked this episode, and wanted to do some further reflection on it, each week our Vulnerabilitea-mail newsletter shares a question to get you thinking deeper. We’d love to hear from you, so please send your reflections in to the link provided. Subscribe here!

🚨If you, or someone you know, has experienced or is at risk of domestic violence or coercive control, call the 2 hour national counselling service 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732). In an emergency, or if you’re feeling unsafe, call the police on 000.

Chapters
0:00
We are relational beings
8:00
Winning losing and keeping score
18:22
Relationships are living organisms
20:59
What are you modelling
24:31
Communication boundaries and owning feelings
31:16
Emotional reasoning vs rational reasoning
43:16
What role does independence play in your relationship
49:20
Its attachment style time
54:57
The Sex Chat
1:01:52
Porn is a terrible teacher
1:09:05
When the trust is broken
1:12:43
Things you can do right now to recalibrate
1:18:24
Kids and relationships
1:24:00
How to survive a breakup
1:29:36
Life without a romantic relationship

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